A Dialogue-breaker

Everyone talks about dialogue here, but what is the meaning of dialogue? Is dialogue even happening when the parties come with their fixed agenda and just wanna be heard?

I must confess I’m not much of an activist or a political person so I only had 3 genuine conversations with Palestinians in my life (2 of them in ALF) but all 3 left me with little hope of peaceful coexistence in the horizon. Last night at dinner it finally caught up with me: A dialogue cannot happen when there is no real listening. Obviously we grew up on very different narratives we both perceive as the complete truth, and probably both of them aren’t the whole truth. But as long as every Palestinian I meet thinks his narrative is the only truth, how can there be dialogue?

Last night at dinner, a Palestinian peace activist tells me “Israel has no right to exist; it’s a colonial country to begin with”. Isn’t that just the ultimate dialogue breaker? I don’t even want to get into the establishment of Israel by the UN in a territory that was under the British mandate, since we can’t deal with what’s more true or more “right” forever. What we need to do is figure out our next steps in present tense. I’m sorry to inform you but even if that statement was true or right, it’s unrealistic and even childish – Israel is already here, well established and let’s face it, it’s not going anywhere.  In fact, the last time the Arab countries decided to pretend Israel doesn’t exist and act on it, is exactly when Israel found itself occupying more territories won in war from Jordan and Egypt.

My father keeps morning the fact that Sadat didn’t wanna take back Gaza along with Sinai. Can you imagine how many hours would a Palestinian intifada last in Egypt? Do you really think that Egyptian, Syrian or Jordanian governments want a Palestinian state? Let’s say we all packed our bags and moved to Canada, do you think the conflict will end or only begin? Hamas and Fatach will kill each other for control, and only after the Israeli scape goat gets outta the way, the Arab league of states will show their true “diversity” on the matter, recreating those same circumstances that didn’t enable the forming of a Palestinian identity under Jordanian, Egyptian or Turkish Empire rule.

It’s just easy to be united against a mutual other, one that “breaks the territorial continuity of Arab population” as I was told yesterday, ironically, just one minute after I was blamed for ethnic cleansing and racism. I am willing to trade nationalism for something more inclusive here in the area, but for an alternate nationalism? No thanks.

So the question isn’t what was, true or just, it gets us nowhere and there’s no easy answer or single narrative. The real questions are what IS and what now? In the Israeli side there are similar groups that dream of Israeli nationalism in a bigger land in the area as they enjoyed in biblical days, and they’re being unrealistic and childish too. If you deny reality how do you expect to change it? What I learned about change is that in order to change something you must accept the current situation as it really is first, it is the starting point.

Israel got to where it is today because it accepted what was given to it despite its greater dreams, because you gotta start with something. But as long as our starting points are unrealistic dreams and we keep playing that “all or nothing” sum zero game, don’t be surprised you often end up with the nothing, always placing one of us in the occupation role.

I thought I’m coming to talk about that middle way, realistic, present tense middle way, but I’m finally realizing that the real will of the Palestinian people I meet is not only to stop occupation but to reverse it. Heck, I was even invited to stay in the Palestinian state if I wanted to. But if one of us will necessarily occupy the other, i’d rather it be me, a country that is essentially bound by democratic laws even when it crosses the line.

The only equal solution I see is to bring back the British mandate. Let’s call this the “shared occupation” solution, and if we all get EU passports I’m sure we won’t even fight it. How about that?

Congratulations, my Palestinian friends. It takes special talent to turn someone that looks beyond nationalism and is very critical of the Israeli administration into a (hopefully temporary) defensive patriot.  I leave this forum with much less hope for a solution in my lifetime and much less will to remain involved in such non dialogic dialogues. Let me know when everyone reaches the present, because frankly, there isn’t much to talk about before that.

My plea to Anna Lindh is: if you want to see a Palestinian state any time soon, do not facilitate any more meetings between Israeli and Palestinians, please. So many Israelis believe most Palestinians just want to live in peace in a neighbour state, and if they hear what I heard, they would all become extremists and naturally wanna defend themselves, thus create a public opinion that will not allow any solution. If Palestinians want a country, they should try to avoid “dialogues” with the average Israeli, and let us continue believing in their good intentions of coexistence – that is the strategy I’m proposing.

Carmel Vaisman

Advertisement